Bad day. No surprise.
Work today felt sooo long. My boss only gave me one task, but as you probably know, I am an extremely slow worker. Today, he had to go through a document of cars that were in the Cuban Grand Prix of 1958 and look online to find images of all the cars that were listed. It’s a simple task, right? Of course, until you can’t find cars with the specific year. I went through the entire document, but when I thought I was done, my boss told me to go back and attach links of where I found the images. Honestly, I wasn’t annoyed by that. I was annoyed that I hadn’t thought to do that to begin with. It seemed like the logical thing to do. Long story short, that task ended up taking me the entire eight hours to finish. I’m ashamed it takes me so freakin’ long to work on things. Why am I such a slow worker? Honestly, I kind of feel like a pathetic intern.
As soon as I got home, I started packing my bags. Yeah, I still have a week left, but I was ready to leave the program and London. Most of it had to do with a lack of confidence, and a lot of it had to do with a sudden overwhelming feeling of unfulfilled goals. Not just goals from the program, but goals I set for life. I constantly start something good, trying to make it a habit, but aver a few days, it always falls off. I don’t know why, but it irritates me. It dashes my hopes of every remaining truly happy or actually making something of myself. I don’t like it.
(I ended up going to bed restless this night. I couldn’t get my mind off of what I haven’t accomplished. I don’t think I fell asleep until three or so).