Lacking Confidence (Day 16)

Today I felt blue, like the sky. But it wasn’t a happy blue. I woke up filling iffy, feeling a lack of confidence. (Probably because I wanted to try beta reading, something I had never done before). That feeling carried on throughout the entire day I worked.

At Can of Worms, I had to present my thoughts and ideas about the Custard manuscript I read last Monday. As soon as he asked me what my thoughts were, I found it extremely hard to articulate. I constantly had to stop my speech and start at the beginning. Even so, my boss continued to say, “I don’t understand.” Eventually, I just said sorry, but I don’t know how to say what I’m trying to say. I felt even worse when the other intern articulated her ideas perfectly. After that disastrous – at least to me – meeting, my boss paired me up with that intern, and together, we went over the manuscript to correct continuity errors and make story suggestions.

When that was over, I found myself with nothing much to do. I took a break to get my mind off of everything by drawing thumbnails for a storyboard. Then, I started reading a book called “Each Day A Small Victory” written by Chip Hardy, Tom Hardy’s dad. I could barely focus on the story as I read, though.

Eventually, my boss gave me a binder about publishing, telling me to go over it. In it, I read about creating he book (jackets, spines), formatting, pricing books, writing blurbs and quotes, presenting and promoting the book to the public (or marketing), copyright, and other information. Like with the other book, it was really hard for me to focus on what I was reading. This made the day really drag on, so I was very happy when I got to go home. But even then, the negative thoughts continued. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

What are your thoughts? Comment if you so choose! …_〆(゚▽゚*)

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