Spider is God

Seeing a spider isn’t a problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears.

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Here’s a fun story of how I found out that spiders are (supposedly) God in Japan. (Now, I could have mistaken “good” for “God,” but we’ll go with it anyway).

Do you believe that whatever you think about, you bring about? That whatever you feel strongly about will come to you even quicker? Well, this is such a sad story, and by sad I mean completely idiotic and hilarious – for me at least. You see, I don’t like spiders. And to give you a visual of how much I don’t like them, I’ll tell you this: There was a spider not even the size of a cotton tip scurrying across my mom’s laptop as I was typing, and I threw the laptop on the floor. Luckily, the laptop survived, but so did the spider, and it disappeared. I slept in the basement after that. But back to the main story!

What you think about, you bring about, and I was constantly thinking about spiders after my first sighting of one in my room. One night when I was going to bed, I had this crazy overwhelming feeling of spiders crawling on me, but it was all in my head. You see, I have a strong passion for not liking spiders, so I’m the one who always finds them because I’m always trying to avoid them, which in term, makes me find more. However, this time was worse.

After having that strange feeling of spiders, I kind of forgot about it. But one day while I was working at my desk, a blurred black figure fell from my air vent or ceiling, slowly. Though it was in the corner of my eyes and my vision was blurred, I popped up, immediately knowing what it was. I rushed to get my glasses and sure enough, it was a spider. And it was on my bed, the side were my head lay.

I quickly rushed to get my shoe and some tissue because if I lost the spider, especially in the bed, I’d have to burn down the house. So I ran and got my items so I could kill this thing only to find out that it could jump. I jumped back. Nope! Nope! No way! Uh, uh!

Frantic, I ran upstairs trying to get anyone to help or at least try to find a spray bottle or something. Luckly, Yuchi was sitting at the table. She asked me what was wrong, and I told her that there was a spider in my bed.

“Small one?” she asked.

Girl, does it freakin’ matter! I thought.

Finally, she came down to my room with me. She laughed at me after I told her it was a small one, and asked if I was afraid of spiders. I just told her I didn’t like them.

“It’s small.”

“Well so is a grenade!”

Praying to whoever that the spider wouldn’t just disappear, I was so happy to see it on the wall, more or less, because I would have had to burn my room, and possibly the house, if it disappeared. But anyway, I handed the shoe to Yuchi and told her I told her to kill it.

“No!” she told me. “In my home, spider is god.”

The heck it is!

“Seeing a spider is a good sign. Brings luck.”

The heck it does!

Yuchi then reached out with her bare hands and picked the spider up with ease. “It’s just a spider.”

I kind of laughed at myself then and joked, “So what if it’s just a spider! In my family, I am conditioned to fear spiders!”

Finally, she used the tissue I gave her and placed the spider inside before balling it up and throwing it in the trash. I told her to flush it down the toilet but she wouldn’t because she wrapped the thing in tissue paper instead of toilet paper. (Till this day, I still don’t get that reasoning). I ended up tying my trash bag shut that day. That night, I slept on the floor by my door.

By now, my paranoia had risen. I jerked at everything that moved. I’d see my fallen hair on the ground and I think it was a spider. The next day when I was home alone, I kept checking the ceiling. When I went upstairs to get bread, I saw another spider scurrying across the floor. I saw it had white pinchers and rushed back downstairs. It was then that I start wearing socks (since I can’t wear shoes in the house). So, more on edge but trying to be brave, I slept at the foot of the bed, on the edge, curled into a ball. I didn’t sleep so hot that night.

And oh my god, on the morning of the next day . . .

My watch’s alarm went off. I had never set the alarm, and it had never gone off before, so instantly after grabbing my watch in the crack of morning, I immediately displayed my paranoia by taking the alarm as a warning from above. I kicked my bed sheets, rolled out of bed, and ran to the door for the lights. Clicking them on, I scanned the bed. Nothing.

Relieved, I realized I really had to use the bathroom, so I went. I turned on the light, opened the door, and the SAME FREAKIN SPIDER jumped out. I scurried back, darting back into my room, surprised I didn’t’ pee myself. Heart racing, I contemplated on what I should do because I was about to pee myself.

Finally, I just rushed into my narrow bathroom begging the spider not to jump out at me. Quickly, I used the bathroom. Now, I was at war. I grabbed tissue, a shoe and just watched the spider crawl on the bathroom wall. I refused to take my eyes off it, because they liked to disappear. And of course, the spider scurried somewhere I couldn’t see.

I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care about scuffing a shoe on the wall or killing the Yamamoto’s God. I didn’t care. It was four in the morning, it was dark, it was raining, and that mother trucker was going to die!

Finally, I got the courage and ducked my head in the bathroom only to find what I thought was another on the opposite wall. I prayed that there weren’t two spiders. Luckily, it was the same spider. If I didn’t kill this spider or it somehow escaped, I would never go into my bathroom ever again.

Still wondering how I would kill that thing, I remembered the electric water flosser my mom got of me. It had a high power water pressure that can make your gums bleed if set on high. I used it and sprayed the spider off of the wall, flooding half of my bathroom. It scurried behind the toilet and near an electric socket.

That sneaky little . . .

So I waited, and I mean I stared at this thing for a few good minutes until it finally moved. Then, I sprayed again, flooding the other side of my bathroom floor. That persistent spider kept trying to climb back on the wall and wouldn’t die by high pressured water pelting at it. Its leg even came off yet it wouldn’t die! Finally, after reloading my water, I turned quickly thinking the spider wouldn’t go anywhere, but of course it did.

After finding it, I sprayed it again and it finally stopped moving. Frantic, I threw tissue over it before throwing it in the toilet. Who cares about flushing tissue?! Relieved and finally at peace, I went back to my room and looked at the clock. Kill time: 4:46 am. Yes, it took me over 40 minutes to kill that thing.

When I lied down in my bed, I couldn’t go back to sleep. I tried, but couldn’t. As I’m trying to shut my eyes, I think to myself, why can’t I have this much passion, this much paranoia, for learning Japanese? I would be fluent by now!

Completely dramatized and idiotic story right? I call my host family every time I see a spider now.

One thought on “Spider is God

  1. This story is too funny! I think everyone has their own form of a “spider” in their life, whether that be a tangible fear, such as a spider or snake, or some intangible fear. Great post.

    Like

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